i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
This baby is an asshole
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
