just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
