I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
