I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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