I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize