maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
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The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
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Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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