Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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