She is in my trunk
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
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shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
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Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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