Are we in a gay sports bar?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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