And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
