I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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