I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
