Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize