We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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