so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
