I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
