I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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