i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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