What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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