we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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