what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
