went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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