Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
