you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*