I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you