i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
