Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
