WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
