My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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