I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
They took my balls.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
