Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
