Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
