There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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