my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
