If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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