dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
