im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
