therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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