is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
