Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
