my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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