I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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