do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
MIDGETS
????
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
