i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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