I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
