dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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