It's Friday. Sex?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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