This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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