Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
