He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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