All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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