hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
