I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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