If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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