had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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