So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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