try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
