And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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