false alarm. still invincible.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
