He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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