I think I died a long time ago.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
