when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
