I'm lost and stupid without you.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
