I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
