Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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