youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Your penis caused this!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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