lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
