Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
