I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
