Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
