the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
