I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
